Leaving the Old… Embracing the New…

Leaving the Old… Embracing the New…

I’ve graduated high school.

The thought should be welcoming, liberating as I have finally escaped the cushioned confinements of scholastic rigour and the miseries of the IB-International Baccalaureate, into real life!

Non?

No.

Sitting here now, before my laptop, reflecting and reminiscing back to my high school life I am confronted by how brief it all was. Truthfully, I miss the scheduled timetables and exams, of knowing when, where and what I had to do and how to do so. I miss the structure and security of school where I had a purpose, a goal to reach for and accomplish tasks to complete and tick off.

Now, with the holidays around me I have none of the above. Instead, I am faced with days filled with free time to do as I please, it is definitely a bit unsettling yet two weeks into my post-high school life I’ve come to realise something.

It’s weird though, because I’ve also only been “free” for two weeks. However short the time may be, it has brought about a series of reflections that, if I were a high school student struggling through the excruciating last year or any year for that matter, I would want to know.

I’ve realised that leaving high school is not easy, but it will be the easiest of all departures.  Leaving high school will be yours and my own first step away and beyond. We will have to leave many things, people and places behind in our lives, be it school, university, family, work, loved ones and lastly life itself. This is only the first marker in the long line of future departures in life.

I would say leaving high school is not just freedom.

The period between high school and university is a time for reflection and thought.

It’s funny: two months ago I had envisioned myself in a brand new world of freedom and opportunity, a place to try new things and be crazy, wild, a place where the hobbies of a childhood fantasy would finally re-flourish after being brutally crushed by the impossible demands of high school life.  So eager for this to happen, I engaged myself in all sorts of social activity-visiting old friends at my previous schools, organising brunches, movie dates, exercising, and going on a movie and TV binge-watching spree.

However, time and reality prevailed. Once this flurry of activity settled down I had time for thought. With many of my friends going back home overseas I realised I had to find my purpose, create my own structure as the list of activities were whittled down. For me, my sense of “structure” as opposed to holiday “limbo” was to find my own purpose. Therefore, I set off to satisfy my desires for my one great love, reading the great and little known classics.

So, take some time to think back on your fondest memories with friends and teachers. And then seal them away, not to forget them but to realise that to move on, to be truly ready and prepared for university and to open yourself for new experiences, I realised I had to accept closure on certain parts of my life. Go back and visit your teachers, say goodbye and take a walk around the campus.  

Finally, it’s a statement of adulthood, a realisation that you’re fit enough to tackle what exists in the real world, as opposed to the candy-floss flavoured fantasy you created 15 years ago.

If you are like me and struggle with some of these problems, this question from my mother might help:

“When you become an ambassador, are you really going to worry about leaving high school everyday?”